I don’t even want to talk about why I was absent for a long time. Assume I was dead and I just resurrected, so let’s carry on.
During my final minutes in a foreign land, waiting to board the plane that takes me back home, I usually just sit quietly at the boarding gate, remembering the things that happened to me during the trip. I usually look stupid because there are times that I would laugh out loud, but meh, no one knows me, so I don’t really care. I sometimes leave these stories out from my blog posts, because I usually think someone would use them against me. I did some really stupid things, okay. So without further ado, here are some of my finest moments in places far away from my land:
- I was in Jaipur, India. It was my first lunch there, because we arrived late the night before. It was at a roadside restaurant, but the place looks decent so I gave it a go. Also, I was fucking hungry. I asked the waiter if they had a mild curry (meaning not spicy, I can’t handle spice). He said they had, so I ordered it. Minutes later, it arrived, and I devoured it. Not a second passed and I felt like fire was creeping up inside my body in the sloooowwweeesssttt manner it could. Turns out, waiter thought I said WILD curry. I can’t even.
- India, again. This time on the bus going back to Delhi. The driver stopped somewhere to cool off (it was a really long drive ok) and I went down to eat. Lonely Planet said that you shouldn’t eat at roadside stalls, especially if you have a weak stomach. I thought I was tough, so I bought some samosas and cottage cheese (paneer???). It was fucking delicious, let me tell you, sir. When we got to the airport that night, I started feeling weird, like I was going to puke and poop at the same time. I don’t know what happened, I tried to eat at Mcdonald’s but every bite felt like a battle. I held everything in for 9 hours (3 hour wait, 6 hour flight). When we got home, I felt limp. I had to get it out, so I tried eating bread. That triggered it, and I puked like there was no tomorrow. NO REGRETS, THAT PANEER (???) WAS AMAZING!!
- I forgot where this was, I just remember it being very far and me being very young. We were eating and then the waiter said ” how are you enjoying the horse meat?” and then woops, I lost it. I loved horses then, and I cried so hard. I remember trying to puke it out too. Now that I remember it, I feel like the waiter was just messing with us. ASSHOLE.
Men and Romance
- I was in Sentosa, about to get off the skyride. The attendant smiled, so I smiled back. On my second ride, he asked me for my phone number, and if maybe we could grab dinner somewhere. I laughed at his face. Too bad, he was a cutie. I laughed because I thought he was kidding. He looked so hurt, and I didn’t even know what to do anymore. So I said have a nice day. OH MY GOD THE WRECK I WAS AT 18.
- I was walking back to our hotel in Tsim Sha Tsui, and I took a shortcut through Kowloon park. I’m a very friendly person (ok am not but I like to smile at people who smile at me so yah) so when this Indian guy smiled at me, I smiled back. We were already past each other, then he went back and said hi to me. He asked for my number, and maybe we could go for coffee sometime (COFFEE, IN HK?? OK). I was frozen for a few seconds, because wow, he’s cute, but jesus I was in a relationship!! So I said sorry, and told him I’m not from there, and that I’m only staying for a week. Oh, the look of disappointment on his face more than made up for the missed opportunity. It seemed that he really liked me. Bah, can’t do anything about it now. (look guys, I matured! I didn’t laugh at his face!!)
- Lau and I were on our way back to central station in KL because we had a flight to catch. Let me tell you, the monorail in KL is the worst. So while being sandwiched in a moving vehicle, this guy in his mid-thirties started talking to me. Not wanting to be rude (and you know, we were squished against each other), I talked to him and answered his questions. He asked how many kids I had (really??), if Lau was my daughter (DO WE LOOK ANYTHING ALIKE?), and then when I said no to all of his weird questions, he asked me out. He said “hey Lisa (FAKE NAME HAHA), maybe we can go for some wine?” I apologized, told him I didn’t live there and I had to go back to the airport. Also told him that I was 19, but THAT DIDN’T SHAKE HIM OFF!! He even followed us to KL sentral! Oh man, one of the worst. I think his name’s Gerard. He’s black and bit smaller than me.
- Speaking of black guys, they like me a lot. Everywhere I go, they’re my biggest fans. I remember this one time in Macau (last year, I think), I was waiting for a cab when 2 of them passed by. One of them said “Hey mama, he likes you girl, he LOVES you”. I just said thanks and walked along the square to find another waiting area. This other time, I was in Bangkok. Okay you know what, I’ll save that story for later. Too juicy!
- I was waiting for my luggage to arrive (this is Mumbai??) and then this guy just outright told me he loved my eyes. He also asked me out, but when I was about to answer, my grandmother arrived. He got scared, I think, so he just kissed my hands and said goodbye.
- I was riding a bus in Saigon (determined to get lost, as always) when this white guy sat next to me. He noticed I wasn’t a local, so he asked me where I was going. He seemed nice (guys, I know, it’s a wonder I haven’t been kidnapped really) so I told him I just wanted to ride it, no certain destination. He laughed and said “Are you trying to imitate my life?”. Obviously I fell in love with him right that instant. We talked about where we’ve been and where we want to go next. Funny thing about him, he had a Ken doll hanging from his backpack. Funnier, is that it was wearing the same thing he was wearing. I didn’t know how to ask him about it so I let it pass. I regret that very much. Somewhere in district 4, he got off. We shook hands, and that was it. I only realized my mistake when I got back to the hotel: I forgot to ask for his name. BAH!!!
- Hong Kong, once again. I was riding the last train from Central back to Kowloon. It was a bit crowded this time (kids coming from LKF, probably) when I saw this tall guy. What you have to know about me is that I have a thing for tall guys. He wasn’t that good looking, but he had a certain charm. He sat in the seat in front of me, and I did all I could to stop myself from staring at him. I would steal glances, pretend I was interested in the ad behind him, and so on. Oh god, I was such a coward. He was wearing a coat too (it was January and freezing) and it was just the cutest thing. We got off at TST, he went right, I went left. That was that.
I’ll be back with more, I promise. We haven’t even gotten to the embarrassing parts. Tata for now!